Monday, April 14, 2014

Marriage 601, Lecture 765: Man sick is different from woman sick

Let's evaluate two scenarios, shall we?

Scenario 1
A woman has her gums sliced open and a piece of tissue from the roof of her mouth sewn into the gum. Both the roof of her mouth and her gums are sutured. She is not sedated during this procedure, although she did take two valium.

Valium does nothing for her.

The dentist did give her Novocain.

Before the surgery, she got up, had a conference call with Mexico, ran three miles, went to the library to pick up a DVD, made the bed, washed the dishes, and did some work email.

At 10:15, her husband drove her to the dentist.

At 12:20, when the procedure was finished, she took the bus home. Not a big deal, as valium has no apparent impact on her.

She got home, did more dishes, made herself a bowl of yogurt and strawberries, which was hard to eat because you know, the Novocain.

She had a conference call with Brazil.

She took a vicodin.

She answered more emails and worked on a white paper. She prepared her breakfast and lunch for the next day at work, prepared her clothes, put away some winter clothes, and folded some laundry.

She took another vicodin three hours after the first one because she wanted to be sure to stay ahead of the pain. She continued to work. After an hour, she felt nauseated. Two minutes later, she ran to the bathroom and threw up her yogurt and strawberries and the piece of goat cheese tart she had later in the afternoon.

As she was vomiting, she thought, Hmmm, I really need to clean this toilet around the hinges. So after she flushed a few times and brushed her teeth and rinsed out her mouth, she got out the toilet cleaner and cleaned the toilet. She also wiped down the sink while she was at it.

Then she returned to work. She still felt nauseated, but what is one to do? One must work and one must get things done.

Scenario 2
A man flies to California for the weekend to see friends and collect wine. His wife does not begrudge him the trip. She is happy for him to see his friends because it makes him happy. He stays up way too late every night, including the night before the trip, because he has been known to be a slight procrastinator. But no worries. He is who he is.

He returns on Sunday. On Tuesday, he starts to sniffle. Then he starts to complain. He is getting a cold! How can this happen!

He whines. He had a flu shot! How could this happen! Oh no! Oh no! HE DOES NOT HAVE TIME TO BE SICK!

He sits on the bed with his computer, next to his wife who has had parts of her body cut out that day and who has thrown up and has little red dots around her eyes because when she throws up, she breaks blood vessels in her face.

He asks the wife to get him some tissues. She does. She returns to bed with her book.

He asks her to peel him some tangerines.

He asks her to warm some goat cheese tart.

He tells her he wants sympathy.

She tells him that she has managed to go through everything she experienced today without whining and without asking for sympathy or help.

He tells her that colds are worse for men.

6 comments:

Gracie's Mom said...

Um, No. Mens colds are worse for their wives or significant others.

smalltownme said...

Have you seen this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ

rubiatonta said...

Hehehe.

Tricia said...

This is SO pertinent! I had that exact oral surgery last week. I am very impressed that you went to work the next day, not to mention everything ELSE you did. Still on the ice cream-and-soup-diet here. . .

Class factotum said...

Gracie's Mom - yes - I suffer more than SH when he is sick.

Smalltownme, Yes! I have! Rubiatonta posted it on my facebook page!

Tricia - I think I need to return to the ice cream diet. The stitches in the roof of my mouth are falling out and they have - WARNING! GROSSNESS AHEAD! - little bits of dead flesh attached to them. I didn't think I had been eating sharp food, but maybe I have. I hope you feel better soon!

Jen on the Edge said...

My husband does not get the Man Cold video and sees no humor in it. Hmmm... I wonder why? :-)