So the other day, I was moving some winter clothes from downstairs to the guest room, which serves as my overflow room. I was moving winter clothes in the vain hope that if I get rid of the winter clothes, I will not need them any more, which is stupid, because there is no surer way to bring snow than to put your shovels away. SH and I have learned that sad lesson.
Still. I was moving my clothes.
There is chest of drawers in the guest room where we put our sweaters and long underwear. Right now, it holds summer clothes.
But as I removed my summer clothes (hello, tennis skirts!) and tried to install my winter clothes, I realized there was just not enough room. How could that be? I have been switching in and out of this dresser for six years.
But so has SH. And I realized that with each season, he has annexed a little more space. In three different places, he had boxer shorts that were still in their original packaging.
This dresser is not the staging area for never-worn clothes. If you buy new underwear, then some of the old underwear has to go. That's the rule. Everyone knows the rule. You don't buy new underwear and keep using the old underwear and keep the new underwear upstairs for a Special Occasion.
SH is not doing it right.
I also noticed blue jeans.
SH just bought two new pairs of jeans to go with the several pairs he already owns and keeps downstairs. Why are there other jeans up here? Jeans are not season specific. There is no reason to store jeans in the off-season dresser.
I yelled at him. "Can I give these jeans to charity?"
I already had a big pile on the floor for Goodwill. My rule is that if I have not worn the item in five years, it's not going to happen. It is time for those size six jeans to go. I will never be ten pounds lighter again. I just won't. I am married and living in hostile territory, i.e., an environment with cheese and frozen custard and cookies.
That is my dilemma: I want to be thinner, but I already have a husband - a husband who tells me all the time that he likes how I look, so why do I need to reach a weight that I consider attractive and optimal?
Can someone explain that to me, please? I still get looks from men, especially when I wear my orange skirt and my black jacket that ties at the waist and gives me an hourglass shape that I do not actually possess. So why do I care about those ten pounds?
Time for the jeans to go.
And a lot of other stuff I haven't worn in the past two years and I am not going to wear. That is my decision rule: If I haven't worn it in the past two years, it doesn't matter how much I like it (and if I really liked it, why haven't I worn it?), it is gone.
There. A decision rule for keeping or discarding. This is not hard.
But SH panicked. "No!!!!!!!" he yelled from his office. "DO NOT GET RID OF ANY OF MY STUFF!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted again. "DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFF!"
I went into his office. "You are hogging all the room."
"I don't have time to deal with this now," he said. "You will have to ask me sometime when I'm prepared to make a decision."
"You are never prepared to make a decision!" I said.
"When you don't know what to do, the best decision is to make no decision," he stated.
"You are so wrong. No wonder you never get anything done! You won't make a damn decision!"
"Don't touch my stuff," he warned.
Later that evening, I asked him. "Why is this so hard for you?"
"Why is it so easy for you?" he countered.
"I have had to move too many times," I said. "I am not attached to my things. It's just stuff."
"But your mom has stuff."
"My mother is nowhere near your mom and dad. My mom has stuff, but it is organized. Your parents are hoarders. The only reason they haven't put things on the ceiling is it's too hard for them to get up there."
"I am not as bad as my mom and dad."
"No, you are a lot better. Their house is a disaster. But our house would be bad if I didn't fight you every day on this."
"But I get nostalgic about my things! I might want to look at them. I like opening an old box and remembering, 'I used to work on this!'"
I shook my head. "I completely do not understand that at all. I have two boxes and that includes things from second grade. But only two boxes. You have stuff all over."
He continued. "I look at my old clothes and remember how much I liked wearing them and I think I might be able to fit into them again someday and maybe even wear them again."
I shook my head again. "We are nothing alike. You know that if you die first, I am throwing all your stuff away, right?"