Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Wisconsin 101: Texans are everywhere

I was in TJMaxx, escaping work for a few minutes as I waited for a meeting that doesn't start until 5:00, and looking for some pajamas that

1. Cover my arms, legs, and neck, and
2. Do not make me look like a sack of potatoes

SH finds me so appealing in the jersey elastic-waist pants with the horizontal red stripes (one size too large because I got them at the Lands End outlet and they didn't have anything smaller) and his mustard-yellow long-sleeved t-shirt from college.

The pants are wearing out at the waist - the fabric is wearing away. Yes, it happens when you wear and wash something enough times. It starts to disappear.

The t-shirt has holes at the neck and the wrists where the seams are.

I don't look good in yellow.

The clothes are too big.

They are falling apart.

Not the recipe for El Sexy.

However, my main concern at night is being warm, not sexy.

(Remember how when we were young, we would think, "Once I am married, I will [wxyz] ALL THE TIME?)

(Yeah.)

So I was in TJMaxx, trying to find something that would fit and keep me warm and perhaps not make my husband laugh every time he sees it.

As I was browsing through the pajamas, I thought I heard a southern accent. Two southern accents.

Then I thought, No, I am just hallucinating in my desire to escape to warmer climes.

Then I heard it again.

Definitely two voices speaking with southern accents.

Me: Hey! What are y'all doing this far north?

Woman 1: We're flight attendants on layover.

Me: From Texas?

Them: Yes. Are you from Texas?

Me: I moved here from Memphis but I went to school in Texas.

Woman 2: Which school?

Me: Rice and UT.

Woman 1: My daddy went to Rice!

Woman 2: I went to UT!

I hooked 'em and smiled.

Me: I never see Texans around here!

I told them the story about the guy with the Texas jacket.

Woman 1: Yes, any time you get away and wear something with "Texas" on it, people will find you.

Me: I almost never see it. I miss it. What airline are you with?

Woman 2: Southwest.

Me: Oh! My high school boyfriend who turned out to be gay flies for Southwest! I see him any time he has a layover here.

Both women laugh.

I laugh.

Me: We all have a boyfriend like that in our past, don't we? The Boyfriend Who Turned Out To Be Gay.




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