Monday, October 27, 2014

Marriage 601, Lecture 12: A man shall leave his father


Me: Stop picking at me. [As we argue about how the silverware is stacked in the drawer.]

SH: I'm not picking at you. This isn't real criticism. I'm trying to take you from good to better. Isn't that noble?

Me: No.

SH: I am trying to do the right thing.

Me: You're not.

SH: I was raised on criticism.

Me: I know.

SH: It's amazing I didn't turn out to be a real jerk.* When I first got to college, people didn't like me. I thought being right was really important and that I was superior.

Me: What changed your mind?

SH: I decided I wanted to be better liked. I liked people and they didn't like it when I was critical.

* It really is. His father is a flaming jerk. I mean, so much on fire that an ocean could not put him out. So flaming that I would not cross the street to - well, you know. So it is truly amazing that SH is not more like his father, who has no friends. Except SH actually realized that he was being a jerk and took steps to stop being a jerk, whereas his father, at the age of 80, remains convinced of his superiority and has no interest in changing.

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