You guys know I love love love SH. I think he is fabulous. He makes me crazy, but it's not like he makes me crazy because he is filthy and lazy and mean. He makes me crazy because he takes five times as long as I do to wash dishes - but the dishes are always clean when he does them - and because he takes longer to make the bed - but he does make the bed - etc, etc, etc. He makes me crazy with an abundance of painstaking attention to detail. I am a big picture person, SH is an ultra-detail, micromanaging person. There could be worse combinations and there could be worse husbands.
He is an engineer. He states the facts. He is not good at watching soap operas, like Friday Night Lights or House of Cards. He doesn't understand subterfuge or trickery - he is straightforward. A thing is what it is. I have to explain why each character is doing what he is doing. I get hidden motives. I was an English major - that's all I did - try to figure out why the characters were doing what they were doing. Engineers look for the objective, correct answer. It's there. They just have to find it. English majors make stuff up.
I am telling you all this as background to this story because I do not want you to get mad at him. I am not mad at him, but there are times when I wish he would lie just a tiny little bit. Just a wee little white lie.
And this is the time I wish he would lie instead of being honest.
Me, after watching a Denise Austin yoga video, she with her six pack, and after watching Zoe Barnes half naked on H of C. Me, after seeing this beautiful fit slim bodies and then making the mistake of looking in the mirror when I was changing into my pajamas: Oh man. I hate my body. I look awful.
SH: What do you mean?
Me: Look at this! It's all flabby! It's all fat! It's never going to change! I am never going to be fit and taut and toned. Ever.
SH [arms around me from behind, looking at my tummy]: Well, we are getting older. And you haven't been going to the gym as much with your new job. You haven't been able to go to classes. And you have been cooking a lot of good food lately.
Me: That is so not the right answer.
SH: But you are a really good cook! I am really lucky to be married to you!
Me: Still not the right answer.