Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Marriage 701, Lecture 23: The economics of scarcity and demand


Remember when you first met your significant other and you couldn't keep your hands off each other? Even my mom, who reads this blog, which means I need to keep this PG, and my dad spent their first date necking in the driveway of my grandfather's farm. Actually, it wasn't a date - they had met at the bar at the bowling alley in town and my dad gave my mom a ride home. This was a super small town so everyone knew who everyone was. My parents had not met before, but they knew of each other.

My dad drove my mom home. They necked in the driveway and then my dad's car got stuck in the snow so they had to wake my grandfather up - who was going to have to get up in just three hours to milk the cows, so was unhappy for many reasons - to pull the car out with the tractor.

Romantic, huh?

When I met SH the first time, I thought he played for the other team, so there was no necking going on. On our first sort-of date - he took a long layover in Memphis and we went out to lunch and HE DID NOT PAY because, he says, "You had a boyfriend at the time so I didn't think it was a date" and I say, "Would I have agreed to take an afternoon off work, pick you up at the airport, and drive you around town if it weren't a date? I don't do that for Just Friends."

And the boyfriend was the Moroccan Millionaire, Gomez, who turned out to be a despicable human being. So I was close to being done with him anyhow.

SH and I didn't have our first kiss until our third date, the second time he took a long layover in Memphis. And then we were all, "Oh this is fun! Let's do this some more!"

And initial years of dating, etc, etc.

You know.

So now - after six years of marriage and nine years of knowing each other. Now, in the dead of winter - yes, already, winter. Now, when I have to get up at 6 a.m. to drive to work in the snow and cold. Now, that I have seen the secrets of a long-term relationship, which include farting, something that did not happen while we were dating. Now, that sometimes, we both just say, "Forget it. It's the weekend. We're not going anywhere. We're tired. It's cold. No showers this weekend."

Now, there is not such a sense of urgency. Now, other things take priority. Sleep. Food. Season three of Rizzoli and Isles.

For SH, the Folding of the Clothes.

Yes, you read that properly. The man who used to drive 500 miles just to see me now won't get into bed until every single item of his clothing is perfectly folded and stacked in the "Too Dirty To Put Away In The Closet Or The Drawer But Not Dirty Enough To Put In The Laundry" stack on top of his dresser.

Including socks.

SH folds his socks and carefully places them on the Stack before getting into bed.

Because - marriage and [wxyz] do not necessarily enhance each other.