Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Marriage 701, Lecture 762: I want a sister wife

SH is 49.

I sent him this story

It's about the age when men are most likely to cheat.

We have had many conversations about cheating. SH likes to go out. I do not. He likes people. I do not.

Wait. I like people. I just don't want to be around them all the time. Or even most of the time. I love having convenient virtual relationships online. I love facebook because I get to keep up with what everyone is doing and I do not have to go.

At my birthday, my sister went to Las Vegas with some friends. At first, I was all mad because I thought, "Hey! You're my sister and you should be inviting ME to Las Vegas!"

And then I realized, "Duh. She's my sister. She knows me. She loves me. She knows that the last thing I want to do is to

1. go to Las Vegas
2. with people
3. and stay up late."

I made some comment on her facebook posts about the trip and her response was something like, "Your birthday present is that I didn't invite you. Love you."

SH, however, likes being around people. He likes just hanging out. I like having a point. I want there to be a point and I want to get to it and then I want to go home.

I hate Going Out, as in going to a bar for no reason other than to go to a bar. Go to dinner with friends? I'm there. But just go to a bar? At random? To hang out?

Kill me now.

SH goes out alone. His friends have asked him if I am concerned that he might cheat.


A man - a person - who will cheat - will find the chance to cheat no matter when. SH would have a far easier time cheating during the day when I am at work. Sure, he could cheat at night, but that would involved planning and logistics.

But during the day, I am at work. He doesn't always have the car, but the Other Woman could come to our house.

"But if she is here," I said, "she has to clean the house and get supper ready."

And that, actually, would be fine with me.


Cleo from Jersey said...

Well, we are definitely kindred spirits in this regard. I am not a party person. I go only when I absolutely must. I like people. I enjoy interesting people. I have close, smart, funny, creative friends, whose company I enjoy. But, I also require some solitude, and when I need it, I really need it. Sitting at a bar, talking crap is a complete waste of my life! A certain amount of solitude replenishes my soul and my mind. Right with you girl!

Gaylin said...

I am somewhere in between you and SH when it comes to going out. I like people enough to go out but when I am done and it is time to go, I just leave. If people get too drunk, I leave (I don't drink). If people are being jerks, I leave.

I like my friends much better one on one, I can do the group thing but find it tiring.

I am single and I want someone to clean house and get dinner ready while I am at work. And then not be there when I get home! I think I need to be rich and have a housekeeper . . .

Class factotum said...

Cleo, you and I can be virtual friends! We definitely think alike.

Gaylin, I vote for rich and a housekeeper as well. I did not do it right in my life - how did I end up not rich, cleaning my own house?

John0 Juanderlust said...

There are a few weak points in your theory of cheaters and cheating. I won't list them, but I will say your premise is not solid, and ignores the most common factors which alter the outcome.