SH is 49.
I sent him this story.
It's about the age when men are most likely to cheat.
We have had many conversations about cheating. SH likes to go out. I do not. He likes people. I do not.
Wait. I like people. I just don't want to be around them all the time. Or even most of the time. I love having convenient virtual relationships online. I love facebook because I get to keep up with what everyone is doing and I do not have to go.
At my birthday, my sister went to Las Vegas with some friends. At first, I was all mad because I thought, "Hey! You're my sister and you should be inviting ME to Las Vegas!"
And then I realized, "Duh. She's my sister. She knows me. She loves me. She knows that the last thing I want to do is to
1. go to Las Vegas
2. with people
3. and stay up late."
I made some comment on her facebook posts about the trip and her response was something like, "Your birthday present is that I didn't invite you. Love you."
SH, however, likes being around people. He likes just hanging out. I like having a point. I want there to be a point and I want to get to it and then I want to go home.
I hate Going Out, as in going to a bar for no reason other than to go to a bar. Go to dinner with friends? I'm there. But just go to a bar? At random? To hang out?
Kill me now.
SH goes out alone. His friends have asked him if I am concerned that he might cheat.
Really?
A man - a person - who will cheat - will find the chance to cheat no matter when. SH would have a far easier time cheating during the day when I am at work. Sure, he could cheat at night, but that would involved planning and logistics.
But during the day, I am at work. He doesn't always have the car, but the Other Woman could come to our house.
"But if she is here," I said, "she has to clean the house and get supper ready."
And that, actually, would be fine with me.
4 comments:
Well, we are definitely kindred spirits in this regard. I am not a party person. I go only when I absolutely must. I like people. I enjoy interesting people. I have close, smart, funny, creative friends, whose company I enjoy. But, I also require some solitude, and when I need it, I really need it. Sitting at a bar, talking crap is a complete waste of my oxygen...my life! A certain amount of solitude replenishes my soul and my mind. Right with you girl!
I am somewhere in between you and SH when it comes to going out. I like people enough to go out but when I am done and it is time to go, I just leave. If people get too drunk, I leave (I don't drink). If people are being jerks, I leave.
I like my friends much better one on one, I can do the group thing but find it tiring.
I am single and I want someone to clean house and get dinner ready while I am at work. And then not be there when I get home! I think I need to be rich and have a housekeeper . . .
Cleo, you and I can be virtual friends! We definitely think alike.
Gaylin, I vote for rich and a housekeeper as well. I did not do it right in my life - how did I end up not rich, cleaning my own house?
There are a few weak points in your theory of cheaters and cheating. I won't list them, but I will say your premise is not solid, and ignores the most common factors which alter the outcome.
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