Friday, February 06, 2015

Marriage 701, Lecture 74: Making the right choices

SH and I have not had a lot of togetherness lately, which is probably good, as we get along a lot better when we don't spend a lot of time together.

This is the disadvantage of marrying late, perhaps: you get too set in your own ways and are not flexible and don't want to get used to living with another person.

But I was out of town for work for most the past two weeks and I somehow discovered that SH had never seen The Princess Bride -

I know. I KNOW. How can a person our age reach our age without having seen this movie?

Think about how many cultural touchstones there are from that movie:

Never get involved in a land war in Asia
You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

And SH did not know any of those!

So I decided he had to see it to make his cultural education complete.

Honestly, the day that I am the authority on US pop culture is a sad day for all of us, because I am not in the know. This is what happens when you grow up outside of the US and without a TV. But ask me about anything now - I can tell you about The Good Wife and The Americans and House of Cards.

Oh! House of Cards!

SH and I are watching season 2. We watched an episode of the show before watching the movie.

All I can say is holy smoke what happened to Robin Wright? I don't think I have changed that much in 25 years,  but then, I have not been married to Sean Penn and I have not lost 25 pounds in that time. I don't know if she has lost a ton of weight, but she looks lean and hard now and she was soft in the movie.

But none of that is why I am writing. I am writing  because watching TV with SH involves the maddening ritual of waiting for him to set up the DVD.

When I watch a DVD, I put it in the machine and press "go." It's that easy. The image appears and the sound is audible. What else do you need?

Apparently, you need to check every single option in the setup menu to make sure you have optimized your choices.

Every single one, people. Every single one.

I try to time my arrival in the basement to coincide with the DVD being ready to watch, but I am not very good at figuring out how to make SH wait for me. I wait for him all the time because even now, after knowing him for nine years, I still believe him when he says he is "ready."

My stupid fault, I know. You would think I would learn  but apparently I do not.

To me, "ready" means that the activity can begin. Immediately. Now. In this instant.

To SH, "ready" means, "After I go upstairs to get my keys and wallet and maybe look at facebook and maybe read a few political articles online first."

I am always tricked when SH says the DVD is "ready."

I am too dumb to live, I guess.

I try to wait until I know the DVD is cued. But I don't always get it right. And that means I have to  suffer through SH clicking through all the choices, making sure the sound comes through the stereo speakers instead of the TV speakers, because you know how much better Kevin Spacey sounds in stereo - it truly enhances the experience.

And then SH has to decide between dolby 5.0 and dolby 5.1. Because this is critical. Can you imagine if we had just taken 5.0 by default? How awful would the experience have been?

I will never know.

1 comment:

Becky said...

I would just like to add: Wuv. Twoo wuv.