Friday, April 03, 2015

Marriage 701, Lecture 875: A rose is a rose

During the plumbing drama that I will describe for you later (the drama that started after I had watched the first half of the movie Elmer Gantry, of which the first ten minutes was better than the entire first half of the opera that my friend Mary Jo invited me to and that we left after halftime because it was so awful - I was sitting there thinking, "I hate this it is so boring I cannot stand it but my friend invited me and she wants to do it so I will keep my mouth shut and think about what to plan in the garden and what I am going to cook  next weekend when SH is gone and not around to get all stressed that the kitchen is being used but hello the gravy does not just come" and I was not the one who brought it up at halftime but Mary Jo did - I asked her what she thought and she said she did not like it at all and she had seen the movie and the opera was so slow and I chimed in and said And the music isn't even good! and she said In the movie Elmer Gantry is so charismatic and I don't see that at all here and I said Then let's get out of here so we did. We left. In the middle of the opera. We hated it that much.

And I say this as someone who used to have a subscription to the opera when I lived in Miami. My gorgeous gay friend Steve - on whom I had a massive crush  because I did not know he was gay and truly unattainable not just unattainable because he was Gregory Peck and I was - hmmm - I was the housekeeper on The Brady Bunch which I already knew but it's easier to control a crush on a gay man than on a straight man who is still completely out of your league - and I had the subscription together and we went to the opera. But it was good opera, like Carmen. Not crappy opera, like Elmer Gantry.)

Where was I?

The drama started after I had watched the first half of the movie -

SH and I had gone to Mary Jo's to pick it up.

"I watched it last night. It's not due until next Saturday," she said. "If you want to take it, that's fine."

So SH and I walked over to Mary Jo's to get it. Her husband invited us in, even though they were eating supper. I said, "Oh! You're eating! Just give us the movie and we'll go!" As Mary Jo looked for the DVD, I said to her husband, "Sit! Finish your food before it gets cold!"

But he remained standing.

I noticed the fridge had been moved to the living room and I commented on it.

"We're remodeling the kitchen," her husband said. "Come look!"

I looked over at their table, which contained their still-hot supper.  The husband walked to the kitchen, explaining the plans.

We followed. SH started asking questions. The husband started answering them. Mary Jo handed the movie to me.

The food was still on the table, getting cold.

"Come on!" I said to SH.

We walked to the door. The husband kept talking. SH kept talking. Mary Jo laughed as I held my hand up and wagged my thumb and fingers together in a Won't Stop Talking motion.

Mary Jo closed the door. I said, "They were in the middle of dinner!"

SH looked puzzled. "But the husband---!"

I laughed.

SH laughed. "It's a good thing you were with me! I didn't pick up on that at all! I would have kept talking!"

OK. I will finish the story later.

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