Monday, June 15, 2015

Wisconsin 101: The princess and the pea

You guys, it has been a stressful time chez us. SH has been gone for the past six weeks dealing with his parents' health issues. He is super stressed and I am experiencing sympathy stress and having to do everything all by myself stress.

If I were not married, I would not have a house this big. (I would like to have a smaller house even though I am married.) I would not have as much cleaning and yard cutting to do. There is more work when SH is gone. I know he has it tougher than I  - he has to deal with his parents - but war is hard on the homefront, too.

I worked from home for a week. When I work from home, I do not weigh myself.

I usually don't like to talk about my weight because I think that is a very boring subject, for you and for me.

But it is relevant to this story because it affects my shoes.

So I worked from home for a week, which meant no weighing. My routine is to get up, shower, weigh myself, get dressed, go to work.

Note I weigh myself before I get dressed. I saw a guy come into the gym at work one day and step on the scale

1. In the middle of the day
2. Fully clothed. Including shoes.

My friends, I gasped out loud.

Men, they are different from us.

When I work from home, I get up, put on the pink fluffy robe my sister gave me for Christmas a few years ago (Soma brand, which makes me think not a single English major worked there), start my coffee, and open my work computer. I work for a while in my PJs - I work with the engineers in Europe, so our calls are first thing in the morning.

I don't get dressed (OK, I don't change into sweatpants) until mid morning, after I have eaten.

I am not going to weigh myself after I have had coffee and food. I am not crazy.

I worked at home for a week.

That meant I went an entire week without weighing myself.

I was also ten miles closer to my fridge than usual and stressed out by our parents/in-law situation.

I ate more.

When I stepped on the scale on Friday, the number had gone up by seven.

SEVEN.

I had gained SEVEN pounds in ONE week.

The last time I did that, I was at a cooking school in Italy with my sister.

When I got to work, I noticed that my shoes hurt. (I keep my work shoes at work and drive in crummy shoes.)

I had gained so much weight that my feet were fat.

I was scared that my purse might not fit. If shoes are not sacred, then purses are not sacred, either.

Seven pounds plus pain-inducing shoes = throw away the entire contents of the Emergency Chocolate Drawer.

Reader, I did.

I discarded the Jordan almonds, the candy corn, the M&Ms.

It hurt.

But sometimes, one must sacrifice.

And then, over the weekend, I remembered that I had dared to eat

1. restaurant food
2. pickled
3. enchiladas made with Velveeta
4. Cheez-Its

Let me translate that for you:

I had dared to eat salt.

So now we know what happens when I eat salt.

My body, so delicate, so finely tuned. So responsive to anything but running and weight training. Salt.

At least the seven pounds left my body.

But now my candy is gone.

1 comment:

Jessica (tc) said...

You are my kind of people. A few years ago, I came across this gorgeous carafe for filtered water (the glass one at https://www.drinksoma.com/products, because they just recently added the other two things), and I immediately thought, "NO! Don't drink soma! What is wrong with you people?"