Monday, August 24, 2015

Marriage 701, Lecture 542: Up a creek

SH and I are on vacation.

I am having the perfect afternoon.

Some of you might understand.

I love my husband. I like my husband.

But I like to be alone, too.

We have been together at the cottage for a few days now. It is lovely to eat breakfast together and to play tennis and to take walks and to attend lectures at the Madeline Island museum about how the Native Americans re-purposed the copper kettles and the blue beads that the French brought, but

it is also lovely to be alone.

SH likes boats.

I do not.

I do not find it pleasant to be trapped in a small area surrounded by water.

1. The glare of the sun on the water will almost surely cause a migraine
2. It is work to paddle a kayak and I am ON VACATION
3. It is boring to be in a boat. There. I said it. It is boring to be in a boat. I hate it. Yes, I know I was in Sea Scouts in high school, but that's because my best friend was in Sea Scouts and the guy David on whom I had a massive crush was also in Sea Scouts.
4. I hate being on a boat. I will never ever ever go on a cruise unless it is one of those Danube river cruises where the boat is really just a floating hotel that I get to leave every day.

SH asked if I wanted to go kayaking.

I told him I would if he really wanted to.

But he knew I didn't want to go.

"I will go alone," he said, "and you can spend the afternoon alone."

I love this man.

"I will get the kayak, paddle here, have lunch with you, and paddle back."

Which he did. He got here at about 2:30. "It took about an hour. I have to have the kayak back by 4:30, so I shouldn't leave here any later than 3:30."

"That's not allowing for anything weird to happen," I observed.

"I cannot possibly imagine the wind direction shifting," he said. "That is the only thing that could make it take longer."

"You can't 'possibly imagine?'" I asked. "Isn't that the kind of magical thinking that has gotten you into trouble so many times before?"

He smiled. "I am an optimist."

I shook my head. "You are a person who is always late."

He shrugged. "It's part of my charm."

"No. It's not. It makes punctual people like me absolutely crazy."

"It will be fine. The wind is not going to change."

Three hours later.

Guess what?

The wind shifted direction.

He smiled. "I can't possibly imagine that that might have happened!"

I shake my head again and remind myself that I do not care if he misses his next plane or is late for anything to do with his parents. It is not my problem. And I did get an entire afternoon by myself. I do love that man. If he were perfect, I wouldn't be able to stand him, so I guess this is the flaw that keeps him human.


Marsha Splenderosa said...

You amaze me with your simple observations which become like major events in everyone's life.
I really hate small boats too. I don't like any water which is murky or cloudy, like the water of Galveston Bay. It's green/gray, horrible. I was always afriad I would jump off the pier onto a crab with pinchers open and ready to grab my toe. I love cruise ships, but then when one finally gets into the beautiful, blue open water it is hypnotic for me. I love the calm blue waters of the Carribean and the Med. Canoeing? Never! Way too difficult to get in and out of the damn boat. xx's

Class factotum said...

Ah, thanks, Marsha!