Friday, September 25, 2015

Marriage 801, Lecture 234: Perfectly matched

Me: The Monster Va- KOOM!

SH: What?

Me: You know. Va - KOOM!

SH: What are you talking about?

Me: From the "Dear Kitten" video.

SH: What?

Me: We just passed a car wash. There was a huge vacuum cleaner in front. With huge letters saying, "Vacuum."

SH: I didn't see it.

Me: How could you not see it?

SH: I am not reading signs on the side of the road. I am focused on driving.

Me: But you have to pay attention to your surroundings.

SH: I do. I look for threats.

Me: How can you miss HUGE LETTERS?

SH: I am not looking for that. It's like when I am in an airport.

Me: Yeah. You completely miss the woman with the blue face.

SH: She's not important.

Me: Yet when I get up to make you a tomato salad, you completely lose focus on what you are doing to try to tell me how to make the salad. Which I am doing as A FAVOR to you. Why can you lose focus when it comes to a tomato salad but not when it comes to a woman with blue tattoos all over her face?

SH: Because how a salad is made actually affects me.

Me: Do you think you would be happier married to someone more like you?

SH: Maybe. Or maybe I would be more annoyed.

Me: Or more annoying.

SH: Probably.

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