Sunday, April 03, 2016

The end of the line

Hi everyone,

I am closing this blog down. It has been a good run and it is time to stop. The truth? I am tired and I am lazy and there has been a ton of drama in our lives in the past year that I had not been able to write about here (SH's drunk father fell on his drunk mother, broke her knees, put her in the hospital, from which she emerged in a box, then SH's father died six weeks later from an infection after surgery, then SH's half brother decided he would replace the jerk void left by the death of SH's father, etc, etc, etc.).

Why couldn't I write about it here?

Because SH's parents used to have the address to this blog, which is where they read my wedding project plan that gave them their excuse to tell SH that he should not marry me and that they were going to boycott the wedding. I couldn't write anything here that they might see because although I could not care less what they thought about me, they used to make SH's life miserable.

But they are dead. SH has spent the past year dealing with all their crap. Here's some advice:

1. Throw out all the old useless junk in your house unless you hate your children and want them to have to deal with it. By "crap," I mean your check registers from the 70s, your eight year old bills, and your winter clothes (if you live in Florida).

2. If you have any porn, sex toys, or photos of you and your partner using such toys, please arrange for a friend to get rid of it before your child has to clean out your house.

3. If you are going to disinherit your son, then don't make him the executor of your will and the trustee for the trusts you want established and managed until your grandchildren are 30. (The youngest is 17.) It really is adding insult to injury to disinherit your kid - after you have threatened to do so many times if he does not get that wife of his "in line" - and then still expect him to do all the work.

4. If you are the older half sibling and your mentally-disabled son will inherit $150,000 from his grandparents, do not try to drain the trust for your own purposes, i.e,. remodeling your house, funding your IRA, and taking a family vacation to Europe. It will just confirm everyone's opinion of you as a complete jerk.

5. If you are the husband, please don't bring your parents' ashes into your home.

6. Marry a rich orphan. Seriously. I love SH and I have no idea how he is the wonderful man he is given his mean, drunk parents. But bad in-laws can make you miserable. 

I am tired. SH is tired. I have a great new job that I really like with a fabulous boss, but it requires actual thought and concentration and by the time I get home, I am done. I just don't feel like doing a lot of writing.

You guys have been great. I have enjoyed you so much. Thank you for reading.


Class Factotum

 I leave you with a photo of Shirley walking away from her binky after she has carried it upstairs, yowling desperately.