Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Wisconsin 101: We don't live here for the Mexican food

Through a long series of events I would rather not go into here, SH and I own a timeshare now. I do not want to own a timeshare. I think owning a timeshare is stupid and I want him to unload it as soon as possible.

However, we have it for now. And there are points or whatever that are going to expire. And SH has some first-class upgrades that are going to expire. So we are going to Hawaii for vacation.

My friend Brooke just moved to Hawaii from Austin. We will get to see here when we are there - that is actually more of the appeal for me of Hawaii than Hawaii itself. (I would rather go to the Caribbean - it's closer.)

  • Me


    THat sounds fabulous! What can we bring you from the mainland?
  • 1/6, 5:33pm
    Brooke


    hmmm, let me think on it! I would say Mexican food but that's hard to travel- the 'mexican' food here sucks!
  • 1/6, 5:34pm
    Me


    Not to mention Milwaukee is not exactly the go-to place for Mexican food
  • 1/6, 5:34pm
    Brooke


    ha! yes!
  • 1/6, 5:35pm
    Me


    We do, however, have excellent cheese

    and beer
  • 1/6, 5:38pm
    Brooke


    mmmmm.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Chats du jour


Is this the face of a happy, drooling middle-aged cat?

Yes it is!

Is this the face of a happy cat who is going bald from the bottom half of her belly down?

Yes!

Is this the face of a cat whose food we have changed - with each food being more expensive than the previous - in an attempt to identify a food that will

  • Not cause her to throw up within three minutes of eating
  • Not cause her to GO BALD on her belly, at the base of her previously-lush tail, and on the backs of her hind legs?
Yes!

Is this the face of a cat who had pretty much stopped throwing up months ago but then started to go bald so we switched food again and then who, five hours after eating her breakfast, randomly vomited on the bedspread and the quilt?

YES!

And is that the face of an SH who came downstairs to discover the bedspread in the dryer already and the quilt in the washer who asked, "Why didn't you stop her from throwing up?" to which I replied, "Oh because I LOVE CLEANING CAT VOMIT OFF MY THINGS."

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Life with an engineer #4,231

SH and I went to our college reunion. He, my roommates, and I went to the engineering reception. My roommate Rene was talking to a man who looked familiar. I got closer - recognized his name, took 30 years off his face, and yep. It was he.

Me: Are you professor X?

Prof X: Yes.

Me: You're CivE, right?

Prof X: Yes.

Me: I spilled a pitcher of tea on you when I was a waitress at the faculty club.

Prof X: What? I don't remember.

Me: I told you, "It's a good thing I'm an English major" and you said, "Yes. It is."

Monday, January 11, 2016

Marriage 801, Lecture 33: Goose, gander

SH: Remember when we met?

Me: Yes.

SH: And how I was able to wear my old tuxedo to Patrick and Ilene's wedding because it fit?

Me: Yes.

SH: I am the same weight now that I was then.

Me: Uh huh.

SH: But my clothes don't fit the same way.

Me: Really.

SH: It's like the weight is all moved around. I don't like it.

Me: I know.

SH: I exercise!


Me: Welcome. To. My. World.

Friday, January 08, 2016

The working life with engineers

Me: There were two guys - not just one - who came in to the gym at lunch and weighed themselves. IN CLOTHES.
 
Engineer: Well if you just watch for the delta...

 
Me: But the clothes don't all weigh the same.

 
Engineer: I have only three pairs of work shoes. Same shoes, different colors.

 
Me: Of course you do.

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Life with an engineer #54



1. Note the expiration date on the package.
2. Remember that we are of the Tribe of We Who Do Not Waste.
3. I did not buy this. I do not buy this kind of food. This belonged to SH even before I met him. Which was ten years ago.
4. I have been trying to throw it away for years.
5. He doesn't want me to throw it away.
6. I finally looked at the expiration date today and said, Ya basta.
7. I tossed it.
8. I posted on facebook about it.
9. He pulled it out of the trash to separate the package into trash and recycling.
10. Even though our living room and guest room are full of the boxes he has hauled up here from his mom and dad's house.
#rearrangingdeckchairs#fiddlingwhileRomeburns

Monday, January 04, 2016

The working life with engineers

You guys remember this, right?







The flowers arranged in positions two and four?

Well, here is the current version of that story.

A bunch of us from work went out to lunch.

1. My boss pulled over halfway to the restaurant to take a photo of the odometer as it turned 100,000. Which is fairly normal behavior. I challenge you to find a person who has not done that or some variation of that, for instance, taking a photo of 123,456 or 99,999.

2. He showed the photo to Other Engineer at the restaurant.

NB I really really like the people I work with. It is a joy to work with super smart people. There is no drama with engineers. But they are not like Ordinary People. At least, they are Not Like Me.

Boss: Look!
Other Engineer: You should have waited until 100,001.
Boss: Why?
Other Engineer: Because then it would have been symmetrical.

These guys crack me up.